This Sh is Bananas

I was pretty convinced the other morning that I had been cursed.

There was an incident with being pooped on by a bird as well as having to walk under THREE ladders to get to class.  It seemed like trouble was brewing...

But the icing on the cake was when I went to the dining hall and got a banana.  Now it is a rare occasion when the dining hall bananas are actually ripe.  So I wasn't surprised to find that most of the bananas were basically green, but there were a few that appeared mostly yellow.  Probably not ripe, but definitely edible.

Except it wasn't!  I took that first bite and it felt like eating quicksand.  I would say normal sand, but it wasn't crunchy enough.  It tasted horrible and got stuck to my teeth and the top of my mouth.  I had to use my napkin to wipe the inside of my mouth out and it took two cups of tea before things started tasting okay again.

At that moment I felt doomed.  I thought a curse had been put on me to make all my food turn to quicksand in my mouth.  (And for everyone who knows me, you know this would be  huge problem because I love food!)  But I got up like nothing happened and got a bowl of Cocoa Krispies.

I was afraid to take the first bite because my life was stuck in the balance.  That bite would either confirm my fears or prove them wrong.

But they were delicious, as were the bacon and hash browns!

The Silver Lining

The one good thing I've discovered so far about having the Scottish Plague is I was able to cough on the math tutor when he wasn't being helpful hehehe

I find this a fitting punishment for numerous people and I will put it into effect immediately!

The Plague Isn't a Thing of the Past

I've come to the conclusion that I've caught the Scottish Plague.

What exactly is the Scottish Plague?  Well basically it's a disgusting, hacking cough mixed with a drippy nose, and it doesn't go away.  This is not an exaggeration.

I basically got it the minute I entered this country.  I thought I had kicked it with Orange juice, tea, ginger, and sometimes sleeping, but it has been a perpetual and unwanted companion.  For a while it was merely a tickle of a cough but it has come back with a vengeance.

It does make it rather hard to make friends because no one wants to sit next to the kid who coughs every 30 seconds, and is blowing her nose in between.  It's like having cooties, except these are real. germs.

And when you meet someone new, they don't want to shake your hand.  I mean it's understandable, but still kinda awkward.

With all the tissues I'm using, I feel like I'm single handedly destroying the rainforest and causing species to go extinct.  I do not want that kinda of bad karma in my life.

If this continues I guess it'll be time to invest in a handkerchief.

Boredom is like Torture

I think I might actually just scream in the middle of my class.  Scream and run out and never come back.  Or at least not until next week when we have a new lecturer.

The current lecturer was probably a torture expert during medieval times.  He has been reincarnated into what seems like a harmless old man.  But underneath that Mr. Roger's sweater and oversized glasses lurks a dark past.

Okay, I'm not being very nice.  He is definitely just a harmless old man.  But that is part of the problem!  He can't work technology, but for some reason has a powerpoint presentation.  His presentation consists of maps.  Just maps.  No explanations or anything.  Instead you have to listen to his rambling to pick out what is actually important in what he is saying.  It's hard to stay focused for that long while learning about maps.

I even like maps.  They're pretty cool, and it's interesting to see what people used to believe their world looked like. (yes, I am a nerd)

But instead of increasing my appreciation for maps, he is kinda making me want to burn them all.  Then run out screaming.  like I said.

Unfortunately that behavior is frowned upon and I don't want to get kicked out this country.  Just this class, which is ironically called Scottish Studies.

Well I am Certainly NOT in Kansas Anymore

I'm pretty sure the world is ending...

I feel like I'm in the Day After Tomorrow.  Oh and it's Tomorrow alright.  But seriously what is with all these massive snowstorms I've been hearing about?  

I'm glad I don't have to deal with those.  But the weather here is crazy too!  It makes me want to break out my bicycle, paint my face green, ride around on a tornado and mutter, "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!"  Basically what I'm trying to say is that it is REALLY REALLY WINDY (and that is actually an understatement)

On my way to class today there was such a large gush of wind that I actually couldn't move forward.  I was taking steps but the wind was playing Mother May I? and it hadn't told me that I could go.

So my verdict is the world is probably ending.  One can only hope to be the John Cusack character in the movie 2012 because he manages to save his kids and get the girl.

My End of the World Advice

1. stock up on water and foods that won't spoil--like Twinkies

2. remember you must always shoot the zombie IN THE HEAD!!!

3. don't enter large cities

4. try to get on a giant spaceship/boat that can somehow survive the end of the world

hope this helps