Baby You're a Firework

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I've been merrily getting in the holiday spirit in the comfort of my own home.  I thought I'd maybe even have a death-scare free winter break.  It was going well for about 4 days.

It all started tonight, Christmas Eve.  I was getting ready to go to church and I needed to blow dry my hair so that it didn't freeze (literally) outside.  [wet hair+cold weather=almost certain death]

So I get my hairdryer out of my bag and plug it in and turn it on.  It was making this clunking noise. Cha-chunk cha-chunk.  That seemed pretty strange so I turned it off and reset it then turned it back on.  SPARKS STARTED FLYING OUT OF IT AND ACROSS MY ROOM!  I have kinda slow reflexes so it took a minute to turn it off and there were sparks just sitting on my floor.  But they burned out before I could throw water on then.

My Christmas Eve almost ended with fire, destruction, and doom.

Here's a song to sum it up.

LET IT SPARK (to the tune of let it snow)

Oh the hair dryer is broken
It is making an awful clunk'n
And since the bathroom is dark
Let it spark! let it spark! let it spark!

Now the hair dyer is popping
And the sparks are sure not stopping
The knob is turned past its mark
Let it spark! let it spark! let it spark!

When I finally turn it off
Sparks are alight on the floor
The dryer dies with a cough
Its life is no more!

I'm trying to stop the fire
But the flames still grow higher
This really sucks I remark
Let it spark! let it spark! let it spark!

Packing is Like a Puzzle

FINALS ARE OVER!!!!

Now it's time to pack up my entire room since I'm going abroad next semester.  I HATE packing.  Most of my stuff is packed up and ready to go, but I'm having some clothing complications.

I am really irrational and every piece of clothing I own, even if I only wear it once a year, all of a sudden has significant value.  I keep imaging myself on fabulous European adventures and how am I supposed to know what I'll want to wear?  That is much too far in advance.  So everything I see I just keeping thinking I might really need this while I'm traveling.  I feel like this is how hoarders get started.  Soon you'll be seeing me on TLC's Buried Alive being crushed under mountains of socks and sweaters.

In fact that kinda happened last night.  I piled all my clothes on my bed so I could compare everything I own to make some decisions.  But then my friend called me and I went to hang out, without removing the clothes from my bed.  It was a lot of people's last night on campus so I was out late.  Then I came back to my room and what do I see?  EVERY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING I OWN TAKING OVER MY ENTIRE BED!  So I tried to curl in around it.  That didn't work out so well.  They came tumbling down and I felt like I was suffocating.  The socks were definitely trying to work their way into my mouth and the scarves were attempting to twist around my neck.

So, yet again irrationally, I threw everything off my bed.  And this morning I got to wake up and see the chaos first thing. NOT GOOD.

But I must get back to decision making...*sigh*

Here's a promo for my episode of Buried Alive

I'm actually not dead...yet

I just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive since I haven't had time to post, or sleep, in a while.

Current Status: The library is killing me.

But I want to keep you entertained so here's a nice link describing how the dinosaurs died.

DINO DEATH

I think the same thing will probably happen to me except in the library basement in search of caffeine and food.

**************************EDIT***************************************

Here's another link to entertain you since I am currently unable to.
CLICK HERE


P.S. I'm working towards those 86 cups of coffee that might result in my death.  But caffeine is necessary (in case you haven't seen that post click HERE)

Once Upon A Time...

I'm going to tell you a story.  You've probably heard or known of something similar before.  This is a narrative we can share.

Once upon a time there was a wonderful creature named Sleep.  Sleep used to be friends with everyone in the town of College.  It would visit with each person at night and make sure that the next day would be bright.

There was also an evil villain called Finals.  Now Finals lurked in the shadows during most of the seasons in the town of College.  Everyone in the town knew of Finals existence but had forgotten the true horror it could inflict.

Until one day Finals stole Sleep.  Finals did not want the people in the town to be happy and it knew that by stealing Sleep away it would cause the misery Finals' black heart desired.

The towns people did not know how to react.  They became grumpy and angry.  They could not focus on the task at hand--to vanquish Finals and save Sleep.

But one hero decided to put in the time, without sleep, to make a good plan of attack.  This hero studied Finals day and night in order to learn patterns that could help the hero find Finals weakness.  The hero had to wait two weeks until she was ready to face Finals.

She brought with her all the knowledge that she'd been collecting and the plans of attack that she had written.  Finals did not stand a chance.  It was unprepared for the attack and crumbled under her might.

Sleep was truly grateful to be rescued and returned to the town of College.  However the people in the town had to disperse.  Finals had done too much damage to the town.  So they were moving to the town of Winter Break.  Sleep came with them and helped them to recover from Finals attack.

And they all slept happily ever after!

Finals are Probably Killing ME

**EDIT**

So I've been told that the music video I posted earlier is kinda weird/maybe scary.  I'll add a warning.

WARNING:  This video contains a kinda weird/gross/creepy creature as a pet and it dies...SO if you are easily freaked out or had a pet die recently VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

DISCLAIMER: I also think the video is really really cool.  So keep that in mind!

**********************************************************************************

I don't know how much I'll be able to update now that finals are upon us. (probably more than I should...)

But I wanted to include this awesome (and relevant!) video to keep you entertained in case you need a study break.

and P.S. I am no longer the VOMIT MONSTER! YAY!!

I am currently a Vomit Monster

So I am actually sick today and was sick yesterday as well.  And I'm not very good when I'm sick...I either get really crazy and make absolutely no sense or I just look really pathetic and like death is on my doorstep.

But I would currently describe my state of being as: THE VOMIT MONSTER

Luckily this state of being will most likely not result in my death.  But it certainly feels like it will at the moment.

I'm going to return to the Vomit Monster Cave (aka the bathroom).

So I'll leave you with the wise words of my dear friend, "Don't vom on me, Toots!"

"Rich Man's Disease"

Yesterday I had two very bizarre experiences.

1. I drank all the water in my water bottle.  Then I got really distracted by the paper I was writing.  But after a while I got thirsty.  So I picked up my water bottle to fill it up and it was full.  I do not remember filling it and was obviously convinced that it was empty since I only noticed it was full when I picked it up to fill it.  There is really no good explanations for this except magic or possibly a blackout.

2. The joint right under my big toe really began to hurt in the afternoon and by my evening class I was limping around.  I accidentally kicked that area of my foot with my other foot when I was trying to cross my legs and it actually brought tears to my eyes.  My first thought was "I HAVE GOUT"  (my dad gets gout so this really didn't seem too far fetched)

I typed these symptoms into Web MD and here are [some of] the results (just note Web MD did not seem to think they were related)

1. GOUT (knew it!!!)
2. Medication reaction (not on any meds)
3. Epilepsy (I REALLY hope not)
4. Intoxication (nope)

Here is a depiction of the pain associated with gout (based on a 1799 illustration)

Gout comes from a buildup of uric acid in the joint.  It is a reoccurring problem that can wear away at your joint over time.  It comes from a fatty (or "rich man's diet") or a lot of high fructose corn syrup.

It is also the most common form of arthritis in men over the age of 40.  I'm not sure what this implies about me...

Death By Caffeine

So the other day I said that I was probably dying from caffeine (here's the link: You Can Call Me Tweak) and I may have been exaggerating because I now know exactly how many cups of coffee it would take.

Drumroll please!

85.71 cups of brewed coffee

Just in case you're curious about how much caffeine it would take to kill you here's the site

Death By Caffeine

The Queen of Treats

This delightful little treat has caused my downfall.  Basically Rice Krispies Treats are my favorite things in the world.  So today when I saw that they had them in my dining hall I decided to forgo eating an "actual" meal and instead just got bowls full of these treats.

They may seem light and fluffy individually.  But now that I've eaten my weight's worth of them, I feel like I swallowed a brick.

Not to mention that eating so much sugar and nothing else could lead to diabetes.  But I'm not going to think of that now...

Right now I'm going to reflect on bad life choices.  *groan*

My Umbrella Was Secretly A Ninja

My umbrella is one of those automatic umbrellas. You know, the ones where you push the button and it magically extends and unfolds.  Basically this allows for two things

1. Optimal Laziness
2. Umbrella can be used as a surprise weapon in case of an emergency

Well today my umbrella turned on me.  TWICE!  And either time or perhaps both times have the possibility to result in my demise.

The first time I was trying to close the umbrella to go into my classroom.  To close the umbrella you simply push the button and it unfolds.  But then you must manually push the umbrella together so it resumes its small size.  As I was trying to do that today I thought that it had clicked into place.  Boy, was I wrong.  The umbrella shot back open and while doing so punched me right in the appendix.

First way I could possibly die: ruptured appendix

Later the umbrella betrayed me again when confronted with a giant gust of wind.  It turned itself inside out.  Thus met ITS demise.  And I proceeded to become very soaked by the hurricane amounts of rain that have been pouring down all day.

Second way I could die: pneumonia

So THANK YOU SO MUCH stupid ninja umbrella.  May you not RIP.