The Death of a Soul

I am pretty sure that if your soul dies your body continues to live on.  I mean you are probably more like a robot (without the amazing capacity for complex mathematics) or basically a human shell.

Lucky for me I don't have to worry about my soul dying because it is currently in the possession of Tyra Banks.  Yes, that's right.  TYRA BANKS.  And she is certainly not going to let my soul die because she needs it to stay young and beautiful looking.

How did Tyra get my soul you may ask.  Well not to worry, she did not grab through the TV after I watched too many re-runs of America's Next Top Model.   But last year two of my friends signed up to be part of the audience for the Tyra Show.  They got selected and got to choose more friends to bring.  So on a random Wednesday afternoon we said farewell to our college campus and hopped on the train to NYC.

Once we got there we had to run like crazy to make it on time to be part of the Kathy Griffin party pit.  Basically we got to stand on stage and scream and jump.  But before that we got herded like cattle into the studio where they stripped us of our possessions (to be returned after the show) and then crammed us all in a giant elevator.  I'm not going to lie, I thought they were going to murder us right then and there.

We survived the elevator ride only to have our souls sucked out when Tyra entered the stage.  She smeyesd (smiled with her eyes) at us and BAM! Soul successfully snatched!  BUT we did get a Tyra mug for compensation.  A fair trade to be sure.

We returned to campus, sans soul, but with our bodies still intact and functioning.  Human shells...TYRA ZOMBIES...what ever term you'd prefer.

But it's actually a good thing Tyra has my soul.  At least she's keeping it alive.  I am not responsible enough to take care of a soul.  Besides, my physics classes would have killed it anyway, and it would have been a slow painful death.

Now I can attempt to become a human robot with high mathematical computing powers by studying for my quantum mechanics midterm...which may actually result in the destruction of my body from lack of sleep and lack of nutrients.

Moral of the story: THANK YOU TYRA BANKS FOR AT LEAST SAVING MY SOUL!